Olympics
fever has people all over the world glued to their sets, cheering countries and
athletes on. As for me, the only
real interest I’ve shown these past so-many-days was for the Opening Ceremony. Now THAT brought a lump to my throat. Why the general lack of
enthusiasm? For starters, the time
difference, PLUS I am rubbish at sedentary viewing (too fidgety!). And, if I was honest, whilst I enjoy
the celebration of sportsmanship and the personal stories, I am not one for
competition where for every winner, stands a whole posse of defeated
souls. Yes, I’ve been found
out: I don’t enjoy competition and
the angst and agro that comes with it. Its an 'allergy'.
I
grew up in a very competitive family and when I was a child, life seemed to
revolve around discussions about who got the best grade, the most As, was the
most loved, etcetera. It didn’t
help that my aeronautical engineer father placed a ridiculously high value on
As for science and mathematical subjects and was hugely contemptuous of
everything else. He regarded
history, literature and English as disciplines introduced for the morons of
society. Much to his angst, owing
to the slant of his viewpoint, I belonged to that particular group. As such, my killer grades for what I
excelled in were routinely dismissed with a “any idiot can get an A” whilst my
paltry marks for maths (especially!) invited humiliation and sometimes a
beating. When my literature
teacher wrote of my “tenacity” in a report card, my father interpreted the
remark that I had been stubborn – so I got beaten up for that too. I should mention I was confused at the
time of the beating, wondering what I had done to invite such a ‘terrible
report’ (as per my dad’s reason for the walloping) as I could have sworn I was
one of Mrs Grainger’s better students seeing I routinely topped my class. It was only years later when the memory
re-surfaced that I realized my father did not understand the real meaning of
‘tenacity’. Ah, but I
digress.
As
I was saying, unfortunately for me, next to one brother gifted in Maths (now a
shipbroker), another a natural with language and the written word (now a
professor), plus the two extra brothers who went on to become an anesthetist
and a lawyer respectively, I was officially the dummy of the group – by HIS
reckoning. But that’s okay with me
-- just as long as I didn’t have
to participate in stupid mind games and soul destroying politics. And so, with such a 'stellar'
introduction to the mechanics of ‘competition’, it is little wonder I am not a
fan of rivalry, no matter how friendly.
But
of course, it is inevitable to go through life without crossing paths with
people who are competitive about EVERYTHING! From racing to the traffic lights (even if they are red), to
being competitive about jobs and earning power. Unfortunately, much as it pains me to typecast, women (as a
whole), can be the biggest culprits.
Sorry girls, but you know there is truth in what I am saying.
It
starts early, with competition revving up around the 10-year-old mark: an
unspoken contest to be the smartest, the prettiest, the most sporty, the most
popular. Developing into a race
for the best boyfriend, record-breaking college results, the better job, the
ultimate wardrobe, etcetera, etcetera.
And then, the ultimate whammy: motherhood! Who’s baby was the best sleeper or the best eater. I’ve even had a woman demand why her
daughter did not have the same curly hair as the waves my three daughters sport (and NO I do not colour or perm my children's hair!)! Bizarre! And then, when Faith was applying for schools after sitting
her 11+ exams (in London) came the “Oh!
Which schools are you applying for? Well! Six
schools have hinted at a promised-spot for MY daughter! We just have to decide which one will
provide the best contacts for her later on.” Seriously?
BLEH!
Don’t
get me wrong, I am fiercely competitive – it is in my DNA. I am stubbornly determined and rarely
give up. But the only person I
compete against is myself, constantly setting targets and goals, always trying
to improve on my last efforts. I
don’t, however, feel the need to be consumed by anything or have the desire to
possess a killer instinct; nor do I have a ‘win at all cost’ mentality. For me, my mantra revolves around
balance, being true to myself and having integrity.
My
girls will have make their own decisions about how they feel about competition
and while I encourage them to give things their 100 percent and tell them
nothing is impossible; I also talk to them about the importance of enjoying
what they do, balance, fair play and being gracious – regardless of whether
they end up victorious or not.
**********************
No comments:
Post a Comment