In a former
life, with the valour youth afforded me and a head over-brimming with mantras to
lend me Dutch courage, I charged through life with total abandonment. Determined to succeed because failing
was not a viable option. I
chartered my strategy, where every waking moment was planned and had a reason –
a purpose. My blueprint was
set: work, save; work, save. Even
when I ‘played’, I multi-tasked by working at the same time, never taking time
off for a holiday or stopping to ‘smell the roses’. I simply did not have time. And I probably would have continued charging through life
that way were it not for Matt and the girls.
Being as single-minded as I was, I never understood why people took the indirect ‘route’. If I wanted to know something, I went
directly to the source and asked point blank. Want to get somewhere?
ALWAYS via the quickest and most direct route. Yes. I was like a bull in a china shop. And then, I met Matt.
Never in a hurry, and though he had a strong a work ethic, to someone as
uptight and anal as I was, he seemed just a little too ‘chillaxed’ (ie chilled
+ relaxed, so yes, REALLY relaxed!).
His ‘style’ made me feel uncomfortable because it challenged my
‘system’. And yet, we ended up together.
While I was painfully direct, Matt was good at keeping his own counsel. My endless lists and goals often seemed at-odds with Matt’s carefree approach to life. The difference in our attitudes was
especially highlighted in car journeys where (pre-Sat Nat days) we would invariably get lost and
as I stressed about running late, Matt’s response was always: “Its all part of
the adventure”. To which I would
bite back an irritated response because a microscopic part of me realised I needed
to learn to go with the flow.
Interestingly, a
few years later, we were hopelessly lost (again!) and Matt was not in his usual
fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants mood.
The downpour that seemed to follow us did not help -- AND he had
forgotten his driving glasses. I
tried to cheer him up by saying, “Don’t worry sweetie, its all part of the
adventure”. His response? “F*&% the adventure!” I had to bite on my lower lip to not
burst out laughing as this was SO unlike Matt! Anyhow, we eventually found our way relatively unscathed but
Matt now no longer offers up that maxim as consolation when I get stressed when
things go awry.
And yet, Matt
was right all along. To borrow a
saying: “As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses because
you only get to play one round”.
Especially as the days seem to zoom by so quickly, more than ever with
three children, I needed to make time to just stop and ‘be’. With my daily routine slowing down some
since our move and my decision to not start a new business or go back to work
in order to be more ‘available’ for Matt and the girls, I feel a ‘lightening’
and am seeing things a little differently. After all, if I don't invest the time now, how else are we to forge traditions that we will all come together for when the girls grow up?
Rushing from
meeting to meeting is now a distant memory; I am no longer driven to fill up my diary with to-do’s or
to-see’s. Time has made me much
better at not saying “yes” to every invitation or ‘opportunity’, leading to
less rush and stress. Aware of how
lucky we are to be able to have this time due to our current
circumstances, I am also painfully
aware that this period of ‘Om’ may not last forever. And so, I am making the most of it. Enjoying the quiet and the calm. Savoring the relative tranquility that has come from making Matt and the girls a priority because it has also meant rediscovering things that actually make me happy
–
like writing and playing the piano.
Meanwhile,
you’ll find that after 16-something years together, whenever things don’t go
exactly to plan, I find myself quoting Matt’s classic expression to our girls:
“Don’t worry everyone, its ALL part of the adventure.” To which my husband, whenever he is
within earshot, will turn to me and smile his beautiful smile.
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