Spoiler
alert: I am about to vent. Ready? So, to begin.
Compared to the some 500-something sized school the girls attended in
London, their new school in Singapore houses 25 per class, 10 classes PER year
group. Give or take. Yes, the school is much larger than the
last. And as we edge towards the
end of the girls’ first year at their now-not-so-new school in Singapore, in
the past week, we’ve had to attend a quite a few school events: picnics, sports
meets, year group concerts, etcetera.
Scenario one:
the school asks the parents to form ‘country representative’ tables filled with
‘local’ goodies for the school community to taste and enjoy. The premise is for the collective to
sample what each country has to offer.
I brought along 5 trays of Rocky Road. No nuts or cherries I was instructed. And so, my version had chunks of
marshmallows and Mars bars enrobed in chocolate. Mmmmmm…super sinfully enticing. We were swamped. But the number of children AND adults
who left their manners at home and decided to dispense with “please’s” and
“thank you’s” surprised me as I thought they would be more gracious about
getting FREE food! But no, I was
wrong. I found myself transforming
into an ‘etiquette Nazi’, prompting people to remember their social graces as I
handed out chunks of not-so-healthy grub.
I felt aggrieved.
Scenario two:
concerts at a school of this size require serious crowd control and the school
has a system that should work – if everyone followed directions. But no. No matter how many times the announcer gave directions, a
good number of parents behaved like hooligans without conscience, purposely
going against the human flow of bodies in their rush to watch their precious
darlings. I couldn’t help my jaw
drop as I watched the spectacle of individuals brazenly ignoring and pushing
past the poor brave soul holding up a “no entry” sign. If the parents behaved that
appallingly, what hope do their children have with that kind of role models to
learn from?
And so, here I sit,
wondering if I am being too judgmental.
Who is to say what is correct and incorrect behavior? Take queue cutting for example. It some cultures, standing-in-line is
plain madness as it means you will most certainly be destined to end up hungry
or miss out on what everyone else is clamoring for. And then, I read somewhere bad manners is pointing out
someone else’s bad manners. Drats! I am so burning in ‘bad manners hell’
because I am rubbish at just standing by and biting my tongue!! So, where does it start or end? Somehow I suspect my query echoes the
“which came first, the chicken or the egg” centenarian debate.
In the interests
of complete candor, I suspect some of my long-suffering friends scattered
around the world probably think me uncultured as I don’t often write notes on
paper, preferring to send my sentiments of thanks electronically. I regularly have foot in mouth disease,
and am known to slouch if I am tired.
Christmas cards and birthday wishes are only done via email. No, I most certainly am not a specimen of
‘correctness’.
But while I may
not be the epitome of perfect manners in the traditional sense, I strive to put
myself in the other person’s ‘shoes’ and treat them how I would like to be
treated. Sometimes it is
unappreciated, but other times, when it makes a difference to someone’s day,
its worth it.
Somebody once
told me, “don’t expect others to live by your ideals as you will only leave
yourself open to disappointment; and when that happens, you only have yourself
to blame.” Harsh but true. And so, as I teach my girls the virtue
of being mindful and kind to themselves and the people around them; I continue
to learn new lessons. Of the importance
of sometimes keeping my own counsel.
Being true to myself but not being so quick to judge others by my own
book as its all in the eye of the beholder.
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