1.10am. Just came back from the movies with a girlfriend and after
icing some cupcakes for daughter numero dos’ school project tomorrow (they’re
doing an exercise revolving around “trading and bartering”), I was too wired to
go to sleep. That’s when I came
across a video link from an article (as one does at 1 o’clock in the morning!)
about a guy from the Netherlands who filmed his daughter every week for 12
years and then edited the footage and condensed it to show a short time-lapse
of her life so far. I thought to
myself, “Wow, what a great idea!
If only I was that clever!”
My admiration has nothing to do with
doubting myself. Nor is it an
observation based on envy. But the
list of people who dazzle me is longer than the queues snaking outside an Apple store on launch day -- yes, its long! Some friends
have rolled their eyes at me, scoffing that I am too easily impressed. But so what, I say! I like that trait in myself!
For example, I am in awe of Faith, my
12 year-old, who started writing a book last year about a boy’s adventure – set
in Viking times. Where she got her
inspiration from, seeing we have no Viking blood, I have no idea (but I am
impressed!)! And what about Matt and
everything he does from his recall of facts, to the way he is clever with
numbers and people?! Or my numerous girlfriends scattered around the world who
run with the corporate wolves without breaking a sweat; doing so with
graciousness and class. Or the
girlfriends who are amazing mothers.
And some who do both! I look up to them all.
Truth be said, I sometimes catch
myself looking at the achievements of people in and around my life, and wish I
had a little of their courage, resourcefulness, fearlessness, intellect,
patience, talent, ‘va-va-voom’, etcetera, etcetera. The list goes on.
Don’t get me wrong. Its not
that I begrudge them their success.
Not in the slightest (unless they are of the really mean and nasty
breed, then that’s just another story.. but I digress). I just sometimes look at their lives
and go, “Wow, if only I……” – feel free to fill in the blanks.
And yet, as I write this, wistfully
wishing I had a bit of more of whatever-I-wish-I-had-more-talent in, I am also
very grateful for all that I DO have.
I celebrate my strengths and embrace my limitations. And whilst no superwoman, I work hard
to be interesting to MYSELF. After
all, if I bore myself silly, what can I ‘bring to the table’ in any of my
relationships and what kind of example would I set for my girls?
About 5 few years ago, a dear friend
asked, “Michelle, are you happy?”
Initially I was confused at the question. Did I come across
unhappy? I gave pause, and responded
that I was very content. “But are you happy?” she pressed. I don’t think I ever gave her an answer
that truly satisfied her. If she
was to ask me the question again, this time, my answer would be more resolute.
I am happy, content and
grateful. Happy in this life that
is mine. Content in my life choices. And grateful for all that I have.
*************
I admire all of your strengths honey, especially the one you mentioned which was to stay interesting and bring that to the relationships you have, especially with your husband. I remind myself often that I need to do that to keep my marriage interesting.
ReplyDeleteLove your writing too Mich!!
deb
xx
Thanks Deb.. for everything.. Much love back. x
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