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Showing posts with label expert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expert. Show all posts

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

39. Its a fine line..

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It’s a fine line between pleasure and pain.  No, I am not referring to 80s Aussie rock band Divinyls’ song “Pleasure and Pain”; nor am I alluding to the kind of ‘proceedings’ as described in E L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey”!  Okay, let me start again.  As you may have heard, I have been putting my poor 40-something-year-old body through some punishment for the sake of training for a running event in Angkor Wat in December.  Yes, yes, I’m talking about it again!  How can I not when so much of my week revolves around it at the moment. 

Anyhow, a couple of weeks ago, around the same time Matt got injured, I felt a muscle in my right leg twinge.  In denial, my training continued regardless, but the grumbling muscle finally got the better of me and I booked myself in for a massage a few days later when a spare hour happily appeared in my diary.

“Ahhhh.. this will get me back in proper working order..” I thought as I got ‘into position’ and waited for the therapist.  I was absolutely aching all over and so tired of being in pain.  My masseur du jour entered the room and the first thing she said was: “You run.”  Just those two words and then, she got to work.   “How’s the pressure?” she asked.  I told her she could go a little harder.  My mistake.  BIG mistake.

With that response, the ‘pain-fest’ kicked up a gear but what topped it off was my now-excruciating massage was also peppered with all sorts of pointers from my new ‘guru’.  Apparently, I had ‘bubbles’ all through my system (I thought they were knots!) which were brought on by hot showers and my supposed precarious consumption of peanuts and cold drinks.  She admonished me for using air-conditioning and when I countered I don’t actually have it on during the day, she tarried with a “what about in the car?”  My ‘guru’ then started telling me how one side of me was not longer bloated due to her expert massaging (okaaaaay..) and then started prodding different parts of my aching muscles – I think to determine whether or not I deserved more punishment.  Darn!  I started with aching muscles but now felt like my body was riddled with many more ailments that I had walked in with!

Suddenly, I had a flashback!  Some ten months ago, I was at this very same ‘spa’ and the therapist had, towards the end of my session, started kneading overly enthusiastically around my stomach region.  I remember grabbing at her hands, saying she had to either stop or be more gentle.  That’s when she mumbled something about how my womb had ‘dropped’ and needed pushing back!  I remember pleading with her through the pain that I already had three children and didn’t need my womb to be in the right place as I had NO intention of using it again in this lifetime!  She stopped – albeit reluctantly.

And that’s when the penny dropped!  Holy cannenoli!   The therapist then and the one hovering over me now were one and the same!  Armed with this new knowledge, the session continued with me largely dutifully agreeing to everything she said: “Can you feel how much better that feels?”  Me: “Yes, yes, much better.”

We parted ways with her showing me how to do a dead lift (she offered, I didn’t ask why but just tried to look interested!) and a stern directive to make another appointment to see her within three weeks (okaaaaay…. NOT!).  I made a quick exit citing an imaginary meeting.

I had another much-needed massage today.  Yes, I asked for a different therapist and yes, her technique was much MUCH more suited to my ‘pain threshold’.  That said, perhaps I should start thinking about why I put my body through so much torture.. ah yes, now I remember.  Its because I HAVE to due to my love affair with food.  Oh well, as the saying goes: it’s a fine line…

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Tuesday, 28 August 2012

37. Not so good at being led

 
So a few weeks ago, I mentioned that Matt and I had starting training for a run in Angkor Wat.   It was going relatively well -- to begin with.  And then as Matt’s runs started getting longer as he worked towards his half-marathon, I started opting out, preferring to concentrate on trying to improve my time for the 10km. Perhaps concerned we were not spending enough time together, Matt decided to come along to one of my ‘lone’ runs, saying he had checked it out on Google Maps and was going to lead me on a different route (but of the same distance) to ‘challenge’ me.  Okay.  I like challenges now and again.  So off we went. 

Up, down and around we went along a route different from my usual path to the Botanic Gardens.  It was relatively uneventful.  That is, until we grappled with the varying routes within the Gardens and found ourselves having to double back a few times.  As it felt like we were constantly getting a little lost, I pointedly asked my ‘fearless leader’ if he knew where we were going.  Matt’s overly confident “of course” was met with my exasperated, “You are so stubborn! You NEVER admit it when you are lost!”  Needless to say, he was not happy with me.  We continued the ‘meander’ (an ‘adventure’ in his mind!) in silence. Finally, I spotted something familiar and it looked like we were back on track.  “YAY!” cried my now-weary feet.  That’s when Matt signaled we should veer off the bloody beaten trail -- AGAIN!  By now, fed-up and tired, I could barely hold back and serendipitously chanced-upon a sign pointing home (but was contrary to the direction he wanted us to head).  When I brought it to his attention, he snapped, “Just go your own way!”;  to which I mumbled a cuss and ran off. 

A similar thing happened when Faith was a new-born.  As first-time parents, we were pretty clueless and poor Faith was not easy to ‘settle’.  One particular time, my mother-in-law said I was probably just holding the baby wrong, insinuating it was my fault.  Relieved for some expert advice, I gladly handed Faith over to her, eager to learn the ‘correct way’.  She wasn’t able to calm Faith.  I think I mumbled something along the lines of, “If you are not an expert, then don’t pretend to be one” and walked into my room, slammed the door, and had a cry.   Harsh, I know.

And here lies the problem:  To begin with, I am RUBBISH at being led.  I like to chart my own course.  Simple as that.  If you insist on taking over, telling me you have the ‘knowledge’ and I choose to let you lead me, but it transpires that actually, it was just an overstatement on your part, I find it very hard to deal with.  As such, I try to not put myself in a situation where I have to rely on someone, preferring to be the person relied upon.  And yes, it can it a problem.

Last night, at the end of a curriculum talk, I found myself leaving Faith’s new school with an unexpected passenger.  As we left the hall, and I led us towards the direction of where I thought my car was, my new traveling partner stopped me and pointed out where the garage was.  My explanation of where I had ACTUALLY parked my car was met with a skeptical “really?” and as we continued along, she kept loudly suggesting taking varying routes to my car and continually referred to the ‘OTHER’ car park.  I should mention this woman is not only as NEW to the school as I was, but has only just arrived in Singapore, didn’t drive, had NEVER navigated through ANY of the three garages the school housed AND was NOT with me when I parked my car in the first place.  But somehow, she believed she knew better in this instance!  Luckily I found my car minutes later, but with a now-pounding headache, could not wait to offload my ‘expert’ rider.  As it turned out, she was an ‘expert’ on quite a wide variety of things – which I learnt ALL about, throughout the very long 10-minute drive.  Sigh. Surely NOBODY can be the expert on EVERYTHING!

So I will end my rant by accepting that while I readily confess to ignorance and often admit liability so that expectations are managed, not everybody feels that way.  As such, I will simply have to work harder on my trust issues, and learn to let others ‘captain’ my path now and again without expecting perfection, as well as becoming more relaxed about just going with the flow.  Oh, and stay away from  people who are ‘experts’ on everything – if only for my own sanity!

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